How to curb emotional spending

Emotional spending (better known as retail therapy) is something we all do - well, at least everyone in this team does!

There have been so many times in my life that I’ve bought something I know I don’t need, simply because it eased my emotions in that moment. When we discussed the topic as a team, we realised that feelings of boredom, stress and even sadness have influenced some of our arguably less rational purchases.

The psychology behind this is pretty simple: when we emotionally spend, we get a little rush of dopamine (the happy hormone) and something to look forward to. It also momentarily distracts us from our problems at hand.

My team’s discussion reassured me that emotional spending isn’t something that only I do. And after doing a bit more research, I learned just how ubiquitous it is. Experts say the instinct to spend money to self-sooth is a very human one - and is rarely problematic.

All this made me think that it might be handy to put together a guide for people like me who want to curb this impulse, sharing tips for becoming more mindful about what you buy - and why.

Work out why you want to buy something.

Next time you catch yourself picking up your laptop and typing in the name of your favourite store on autopilot, try to see if you can identify the underlying feelings which have motivated you to do that.

You might simply want a new pair of jeans - and if so, great! But sometimes, there’s more going on under the surface.

For some people, feelings of sadness or anxiety can push them towards making impulse buys. For me, I buy when I’m bored! When I left my last job - one I wasn’t feeling particularly fulfilled in - I realised how much time I’d been spending ordering clothes online and waiting for the *perfect* outfit to arrive. And, of course, it never did!

Identifying the underlying emotions driving you to buy something that you probably don’t need (and maybe don’t even really want) is key to helping you become more mindful about how you shop.

Give yourself space before you make any purchases.

Waiting a few hours (or even days) between putting items in your online basket and clicking “pay” is a great way to decide whether you actually want what you’re about to buy. It’s likely that when you return to your basket, you’ll have changed your mind about some of the items in there.

In the era of instant internet shopping, giving yourself that space can be really difficult! But if you’re looking to curb your emotional spending - or just want to break your online shopping cycle - taking a break before you order is one of the most worthwhile things you can do.

Treat yourself in a different way.

When you next feel tempted to splash out, do something else that will bring you joy (without leaving a hole in your bank balance). Taking a walk outside, dancing along to your favourite tunes or soaking in a warm bath are all fabulous acts of self care which don’t involve tapping your contactless card.

These activities are more than just a distraction technique: they’re about treating yourself with a kindness that will hopefully soothe your emotions in a more productive, long-lasting way than buying a new top ever could.

And a final note - let go of the guilt!

Don’t feel bad if you let your emotions influence your habits. While it’s important to ensure you’re not spending way beyond your means, what really matters is understanding what’s driving your desire to spend.

Most emotional spenders end up returning everything they order online - but even so, the more aware you are of the cycle, the better chance you have of interrupting, which will benefit yourself in the long run.

If you, like me, have been left frustrated by the fact that your new purchases never bring the joy they seem to promise, I hope this guide helps a little.

When I reflect on the things that actually lift my spirits, what comes to mind are my friends, getting out of the house and reminding myself of all that’s good in my life - and none of that costs a thing.