How to motivate yourself - even when you really don’t feel like it

Calypso Barnum-Bobb is a self-discovery coach who helps people express their most authentic selves so they can create lives they’re truly obsessed with.

Motivation - like the tide - has its highs and lows. Feeling unmotivated and stuck in a slump is a universal human experience and, even though it can feel like it, it’s not a constant state.

Instead of criticising ourselves when motivation is running low, it can be really useful to honour the slump. Trying to force motivation can lead to autopilot mode, where we end up doing things we don't truly want to do. Sometimes, we simply need to sit with the feeling for a while and get inquisitive about what might be going on.

Ask yourself, “why am I unmotivated?” and “what does this feeling tell me?”. Perhaps a big goal you’re working towards feels overwhelming, or your current approach isn’t quite working for you. Getting to the root cause of your slump can help you address it and move forward.

And once you’ve honoured the slump, here are some actionable steps to spark motivation:

1. Get crystal clear

Clarity is key when it comes to getting motivated - when you know what you want to achieve, the process becomes *so* much easier. 

The first step is to define your goals - what are you working towards? And whether it’s a project at work or a run, be specific. Break that bigger goal down into bite-size chunks, so it doesn’t seem so intimidating anymore.

2. Make it fun!

As humans, we're wired to seek out excitement and novelty - nobody enjoys doing things they find boring. So, find ways to make your goals more compelling. 

Maybe that means rewarding yourself for completing tasks or switching up your environment. For example, if you're dreading a run, change the route. Suddenly, the run feels more exciting because it's different. I did this recently on a 20k I really wasn’t feeling, and ended up enjoying it - and having an impromptu sightseeing session in central London at the same time.

3. Watch your words

When it comes to motivation, your words have more power than you think. Instead of letting negative self-talk hold you back, use positive affirmations as mantras. The word “mantra” is derived from the Sanskrit words for "tool" and "thought", which indicates how they help you reframe your perspective. 

For instance, instead of thinking "this run is going to be really hard", you’d say: "this run is going to be really easy". It might sound silly and unrealistic, but trust me, it works!

4. Find your support network

We all need some accountability to stay on track, especially with bigger, longer-term goals. I’ve found that having an accountability buddy can really help. 

Depending on what you’re looking to achieve, this could look like joining a running group, partnering up with a colleague at work or finding a trusted support group online. Exactly what this looks like is up to you, but I personally like setting mini-deadlines and celebrating shared progress together. Plus, it's much more fun when you're working towards goals together.

5. Celebrate your wins, big and small

 When you’re working towards a goal alongside the humdrum of everyday life, it's easy to get caught up in the ‘hustle’ and forget to pat ourselves on the back every now and then. I’ve found that taking the time to recognise my success can be a real motivator to keep pushing forward.

Essentially, don't just focus on what you haven't achieved; instead celebrate the amazing things you've already accomplished!

Bonus motivational points for celebrating these wins with your accountability buddy or support network.

A final note on motivation

Remember - motivation isn’t a constant, and learning to accept that there will always be peaks and troughs is really important. Embrace the highs as well as the lows, and keep moving forward one step at a time. 

Honour the slump, get clear on your goals, make tasks fun, be mindful of your self-talk, get an accountability buddy and - last but not least - celebrate your wins.