Why we should think differently about “imposter syndrome”

Calypso Barnum-Bobb is a self-discovery coach who helps people express their most authentic selves so they can create lives they’re truly obsessed with.

I’ll be honest: I sometimes want to unsubscribe from the whole notion of “imposter syndrome” - and the reason I say this is because we only ever seem to hear about it in relation to women.

How often have you read an article from a man experiencing imposter syndrome, or heard male business leaders use the term? That’s not to say that men don’t also experience self-doubt when advancing in a role, but that society doesn’t question whether men are ready for their next career step in quite the same way. 

By refusing to use the phrase “imposter syndrome”, therefore, we can remove some of the power it has over us.

This is definitely not to say that growth doesn’t feel scary. It’s completely natural to feel fear as well as excitement when stepping outside our comfort zone - which is why this piece is all about reframing some of the most common self-doubts that crop up when we grow. 

Feeling like you just “got lucky”? Here’s a reframe.

If you feel like you don’t deserve a promotion at work or an exciting new opportunity, the key thing to remember is that you’ve been recognised for a reason. Whether that’s a result of your recent hard work and effort, or through your consistent and cumulative showing-up, the opportunity has come about because of you.

Sometimes it can feel obvious why we’ve been promoted or recognised in another way, but at other times things can feel a lot less clear-cut. It’s important to remember that people rise to high places for lots of different reasons - and there’s no single path to success.

We all have unique gifts, skillsets and talents, so it’s worth spending time focusing on the things you know you bring to the table.

Worrying that you’re going to get “found out”? Here’s a reframe.

When we step into a new role or opportunity, we often think we have to be 100% ready for it. I would argue that if you’re 100% ready for a move, it’s not big enough for you in the first place. 

That said, if you’re worried about not feeling ready for your next step, get up close and personal with your strengths by creating an “I’ve got this list” to remind yourself of what you do bring to the table. 

It’s also important to be vulnerable with things you don’t know yet. We’re only human, and pretending we know everything can be our greatest downfall. Instead, carve out learning opportunities - perhaps you can connect with someone in your field over coffee, or ask your boss more questions. When you own your vulnerability, there’s nothing that anybody can “find out” about you.

Questioning “who am I to do this”? Here’s a reframe. 

Often when we’re asked to step up, we can paradoxically feel like we have to make ourselves smaller. This is especially true when moving from a non-managerial to a managerial position. We can ask ourselves: “who am I to point out that mistake?” or “who am I to suggest a new way of working?”. 

A harsh truth is that if you’re coiling away from the growth you’re stepping into, it can be felt by others. So rather than doubt where you are, remember that it’s your responsibility to own being in that space.

Reflect on the qualities and skills of your favourite managers, and try to bring those strengths into your own style. Think about the things that didn’t work for you and carve out your own, new way of being a manager, allowing yourself to expand into the role.  

Feeling like you “have to get everything right”? Here’s a reframe.

First of all: we’re all human and we’re all going to make mistakes. Getting comfortable with that fact is part of the process of growth - and the more comfortable you can get with it, the less pressure you will feel when taking steps forward. 

One way to combat this inner perfectionism can be to humanise a situation. If you’re nervous about doing a presentation for the first time, try telling your audience: “Hey! I’m really excited to be doing this, but also pretty nervous, so be kind!”. 

It’s also important to remember that when you hold yourself to very high standards, this can become contagious and put pressure on those around you.

A final note

Practice saying yes to expansive things in your life outside of work. The more you put yourself in situations outside of your comfort zone - for example, taking up aerial circus skills or going rock climbing - the less scary growth will feel.